From Default to Design

Episode Summary

What happens when the ink is dry on your divorce papers and the house finally goes quiet? In this episode, Trena explores the often-unprepared-for "Now what?" moment that follows the end of a marriage. She shares her personal journey of immediately jumping into a "rebound project" by moving overseas to avoid the silence and the weight of her own thoughts. Trena discusses how to recognize when you are living by "default"—functioning while feeling unsettled—versus intentionally "designing" a life that is true to your core.

 

Key Takeaways

• The Rebound Project Trap: Understanding the urge to stay busy with new jobs, relocations, or new relationships to avoid dealing with the internal "unsettled" feelings that follow a major life transition.
• The In-Between Season: Recognizing this period as a "sacred time" of preparation where you are no longer where you were, but not yet where you want to be.
• Functioning vs. Flowing: The difference between wearing a "high-functioning mask" while crumbling inside and achieving true alignment where your external actions match your internal truth.
• By Invitation Only: Your next chapter is "by invitation only". You have the authority to release negative energy and people who do not support or fill you up.
• Victim vs. Victor: Shifting your mindset from feeling like a victim to whom things happen, to showing up as a victor who knows things are happening for you.

Timestamps

• [00:00:00] – The "Now what?" moment after the noise stops.
• [00:01:00] – Trena’s story: From the courthouse directly to the passport office.
• [00:04:00] – Using busyness as a coping mechanism to avoid the silence.
• [00:09:00] – How suppressed stress can manifest physically in the body.
• [00:13:00] – The importance of releasing control to let your life flow.
• [00:20:00] – Finding your voice and the necessity of an identity shift.
• [00:25:00] – Making the choice: Living by Design rather than Default.

 

Resources Mentioned

• The Phoenix Reset: A reflection guide created specifically for the "in-between" season to help move from default to design.

Call to Action

If you are ready to stop living by default and start designing your next chapter, download the Phoenix Reset reflection guide. 

 

If this episode helped you, please take a moment to leave a review and share it with someone who might need it.

 

Remember, this is your season to rise!

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